Saturday, January 8, 2011

Scattered notes 17

Past never leaves us...even if we want to forget it, it comes back in a way that amazes us, and leaves us with a feeling that maybe everything in the world is controlled by our destiny.

Within the first five seconds itself I realised there was one girl present there, whom I have loved for over one and half years now, proposed and was refused within ten minutes...didn't know my love for her, irrespective of the fact that we went out together on one of the evenings in Durga Puja.

My only intent was to tell her about my feelings for her and then go away forever. She refused, and I really thought maybe this must be a happy goodbye for both of us. I wanted to stay separated because I didn't want to face her again. I wanted all my happy memories with her stay fresh, alive...and I wanted to make the parting at the evening our last meeting. But someone wanted us to meet again. And that's what we call destiny.

I hope she doesn't interact with me in the upcoming days. Because believe me or not, I am helpless, and hopelessly in love with her, and her thoughts...and one thought about her or one single voice of her makes me feel dizzy about her...don't know how am I going to sit with her, once again. After all these have happened.

CONFUSED.

Life is not that easy once you have loved someone, have decided to leave her path once she has refused you...and then you find out you two have chosen the same path. Life is difficult once again. Mind is restless. I can't ignore her, nobody can. And I know she doesn't have any expression for me. It's difficult to love a person who is emotionless. One, I had the tension of clearing the next round, now I have the burden of her memories to handle again.


GOD will help me surely.

Jan '11

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