Sunday, April 5, 2009

A LOOKBACK

Thanks to the God and life back to normal as the reports of Peerless proved to be wrong, thanks to Roy Trivedi... what kind of a tension building in the house I had never seen in my life before....but all's well that ends well and the revised reports have confirmed of the 'thing', which in turn not proved to be cancer after all, and signs have revealed of a minor percentage that it could happen again...let's see what happens....

This whole thing, though proved a life stirring experience for me. After all it's not everyone or everyday you come to know all of a sudden that your father is suffering from cancer. And its not everyday you prepare yourself for what is coming ahead of your family.

Things in the recent past haven't gone so easy, but yet, I am happy for what has come out of all these...at times I have stopped thinking about people in distress, and tended to concentrate more on my own sake and happiness...my search for the truth of our life has often found it's way into the lakes and at the Southern Avenue. But as the situations changed, I found myself above all these, above my goal, above my search for love, the reason why I am living my life....they start hovering around the head whenever you come to know that someone's gonna die...

Recently, I came across a person who keeps saying that she dreams about the most fascinating things in the world, which remind her the very purpose of her existence........a very fascinating dream, I guess, whenever I read these lines.

No offense, whatsoever...but as once again I remembered of the Zahir, whom I was lacking...I found that our lives have been divided in two parts...in one, we learn things, we understand why we are here, and learn how we should deal our lives....but once again, as they say, people know early in their lives what's the reason for their being...probably that's why they give it up so early too...but that's the way it is...we've been taught to dream, to apply ourselves, to earn money so as to feed our wives and children, be happy in public, irrespective of our family problems, discuss recent TV shows with friends...

In my life, I have seen that things never go either right or wrong way. It is as if we ourselves, write them in our lives, this is going to happen with us, and this isn't.

Once again I remind of the Zahir...Esther understood what does it mean to leave a person and get him back...just as all the stories can deliver...that's why I keep saying that whatever novel or story comes from whoever famous person...real will be always like the exception to every rule, defying the every story of love and liking. Funny old world, isn't it?

Much though, I love the way things are. Irrespective of the fact that I thought I loved someone and she turned her face away from me...that I always wanted to be a writer in my own life, that my father has a low feeling about me, that I am unable to do any constructive thing in life...the facts go on...

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