…of a lone person

December has always been a special month for me. Lonely, depressing, silent, making me fill with dejection…all true, still there is something in it that whenever I think about it, I find a boy of seventeen making a mark in his own way. It reminds me of the memories of ‘Good Night’, the first story ever written by me…and then the list went on.

In the last few days I discovered some hidden parts of me…and I used them to the fullest to help some of my friends. I helped them to face the HR interview, with my limited knowledge and whatever I studied about interview questions and took notes from Golpark library…also the ‘64 HR questions’ e-book. Life becomes cheerful when we start helping people without the expectation of a return.

My keyboard had problems. Ten switches stopped working altogether and I accompanied by Spal went to Chandni yesterday. Now I am using the old one, left alone for a long time…well it is giving its service truthfully, till now.

And yes, there are memories of two girls. It’s not possible that I write, and my writings skip the memories of them. No signs of 'Manjari girl'. Hope she’ll never come back. And I too have made my mind. Love is not for me. Let’s see if I can get into a B-school and then the MBA degree can be followed by the experience in a company for at least 3 years leading me into an FPM degree…helping me to write a book on marketing. Oh, yes I have plans in my mind, breaking the long term goal into short ones.

And then there was another person on which I wanted to write ‘Friday’. It’s better to maybe leave her alone. Sometimes she leaves me amazed with her profile pictures…that’s all I have left of her.

And then there are others’ setbacks in life which leaves me dejected too. My cousin brother’s marriage got cancelled with the girl they decided, just because of some stupid unknown reasons. And one of my Facebook-friend’s ex-boyfriend was going to marry someone else. Whenever I started thinking about my bad luck…I used to think these happenings and compared mine with them and realise how unlucky they were. Even I realised that M-girl's ex-boyfriend must be much more depressed than me…so I stopped mourning about people once again, and accepted the fact that I was a lone person, am and will be the same until and unless a miracle happens. Well, as a matter of fact I don’t want that miracle to come soon.


This year, finally, brought some mixed things in my life. Friends were there. Fun, doing projects for a marathon 12 hours, college, IMS, 'M-girl', CAT blues, a Durga Puja that I am and will be unable to describe to anybody else, a few good subjects (yes, unfortunately, I liked couple of IT subjects just because they had management subjects in it) like Management Information System, Software Engineering and Project Management and Financial Management etc. There was a memorable tour to Bokkhali with Sobitri, Mark and Dippo. There was Indiblogger, there was ‘Mad’, and other stories….and the list can go on.


And then there was a lesson that had to be learnt, came in a way that I didn’t expect it to.

People are not that bad, it’s just the decision of them towards us that makes us think that they are. Every person has his/her norms/limitations/rules to maintain…and their act is dependent on those rules. These rules change depending on people, and so when we judge those persons we must consider those regulations too.

I lost a friend the day I left her in a way telling her that I felt for her, and I know that I can’t get her back now. But I don’t regret her telling it.



Life is full of opportunities, and my objectives remain confined to getting into one of the better B-schools now. Hope somebody’s up there somewhere listening to me, or knows my real intent towards life…sometimes it’s really hard to understand the needs of a lone person.




- Dec '10